I want to share something I wish I’d been told a long time ago – it’s what I say at every talk-back or Q&A session: Re-define your personal definition of “success.”

I used to think success was getting a great job in a great show at a great theater and subsequently getting great reviews. I realized early on that by thinking that way I was putting a tremendous amount of pressure on myself.

In order to stay resilient in this business, we need to put stock in the little things: getting a callback, great feedback from an audition, or receiving a compliment from a fellow actor. Success, as we seek to define it, is incremental in its development.

I remember once leaving an audition room shortly after I started auditioning. I was walking down a hallway with the casting director who turned to to tell me that he loved my voice. Days passed and I didn’t get the part. I didn’t even audition for that casting director again for many months – but his words were currency. I put that compliment in my virtual bank account of reasons-to-keep-going. If I could impress this man who had been listening to people sing all day long, and sing well, then I knew I was in the right place. I didn’t need to leave New York.

I often say actors should be allowed two resumes: one that lists their actual credits, and one that lists everything they ALMOST got! All those near-misses are not failed attempts, nor are they merely lost opportunities. They are strong reminders that you are doing something right – and that people are taking notice. Don’t be defeated by the losses – gain more strength from them, so that when the next chance comes along, you make it harder for people to say ‘no’ to you.

It is imperative that we actors celebrate the little victories. The big victories will come, but in the meantime, allow yourself to feel successful throughout the journey, not just at its end.